New Albany United Methodist Church

Youth

Tags: Caring more about WE than Me!!!

Our Mission for Lifeline Youth Ministry: is to live a full life of wonder, discovery and passion in and through Christ

Middle School and High School teens are not only taught that God's love is real, they are encouraged to apply what they learn to their everyday lives. Pastor Jean Schafer leads the teens through real and practical ways to live as a Christian at school, home and in the world. Through Sunday morning classes, weekly youth group gatherings, mission trips and special events, teens are equipped and encouraged to develop and grow their own individual relationship with God.

Time to sign up for Transformation Zone:

This is a local mission opportunity for one week in central Ohio, July 6-11.

Click here for further information.

Summer connection :   Sunday Morning 11th hour and Movie Mondays, 7/11 and 8/


 11th hour New Series

  

Now What?  This is the big question we ask ourselves when we are in the SHADOWLANDS of tragedy.

Week 1  The first Step.

Bottom line:  Before you heal, you have to feel

Week 2:  Leave me alone.

Bottom line: When it comes to tragedy, be a friend not a fixer.

Week 3  Drop the Anchor Bottom line:  Nothing can pull you from a God who loves you. 

Shadowland: Parent CUE

 

 

We’re Teaching This:

Have you ever turned on the news only to wish you hadn’t? Or answered a phone call only to wish you could un-hear the news on the other end? Whether it’s a global disaster, a school shooting, our parents’ divorce, or the death of a friend, there’s nothing fun about learning of a tragedy. It can make us feel like we are walking through a shadowland—where nothing seems quite right and there are more questions than answers. What do we say? What do we do? What happens next? And, how long will it take? At some point, we will all face a shadowland, but that doesn’t mean we have to stay there. There is a way through to the other side of tragedy, to healing. But getting there means we have to trust the One who is leading us.

 

Think About This:

Good grief. Is there really such a thing? Is there any way on earth that grieving can be good? Intellectually, we may say yes. We remember enough from our psychology class to know that grieving is helpful—but watching your child experience grief is a different story. Whether they’re mourning the loss of a pet, a family divorce, or something on a much larger scale, silently standing by as your student grieves can feel counterintuitive

 

In his article, Dealing with Tragedy and Loss, pastor Steve Wiens says it this way:  When we encounter others who are in pain, we do not know what to do. We do not know how to comfort them. And so we say things to make a really awkward moment less awkward… which is understandable, but not helpful. These responses don't help someone who is in deep pain:

"God must have needed another angel in heaven."
"At least he's no longer suffering."
"Everything happens for a reason."

The problem is that most of us don’t know what to say or do for our teen. There’s no manual for it. So what should we do to help our student navigate the grieving process?

 

·       Be Quiet. Like most grieving people, students need less words than we think. A hug and a simple, “I’m sorry” can be more comforting than trying to fill the silence with explanations or pep talks.

·       Be Available. For students, grief comes in waves. It can be tricky for parents who think their teen is fine only to find them grieving weeks or months after a tragedy. So, no matter what happens and no matter how long it takes, be available. Tell them that you’re there to listen days after the event, months later, and even years down the road. Knowing you’re in it for the long-haul can help a teen feel stable even when the world around them is not.

 

Based on resources from How to Help a Grieving Teen by the Dougy Center and Dealing With Tragedy And Loss by Steve Wiens.

 

 

 

 

Try This

When a student is experiencing tragedy, on a large or small scale, it can be difficult for a parent to know what to do or what to say. This is a great time to look for an outside resource—a source of wisdom that can give you some context for what to expect from your student.

 

·       Try reaching out to another parent who has been through a similar situation. You don’t have to meet over dinner, just email or call and ask a simple question. You can say something like this, “I know you’ve been in a similar position. What were some things that you learned or some things that surprised you while your teenager was grieving?”

·       Do your homework. There are some great resources out there to help parents learn to cope with students who are grieving. Check out the grief resources from the Dougy Center here http://www.dougy.org/grief-resources/help-for-teens/.

 

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org

   


 

 

2013 -14 Mission Events/ Opportunities    Serve your church on Sunday:  Choose to "Set the Table" for hospitallity.  Check with pastor Jean for details.

           This ministry starts at 7:30 am and ends with the cleanup, typically 12:30 pm.  Team with another family to make it fun.

monday and thursdays:  Help with Childcare during ESL Classes in Whitehall.

Contact Pastor Jean for a ride.


July 6-11:  Transformation Zone, Central Ohio missions

July 19-26: High Gate, Jamaica, $1500, $50 deposit by Sept.29

1. Be a Student of What They are Learning

“I just can’t let it go.” “They don’t deserve to be forgiven.” “It hurts too much to move on.” Maybe you’ve heard your students say something like this in the midst of pain, frustration and anger towards someone who has hurt them—or maybe you’ve said or thought something similar yourself. Choosing to forgive someone who has hurt us is never easy. So why does it matter so much that we do it? How do we know when we should do it? And how do we know we have actually healed from the pain an offense has caused? How do we simply let it go?

 

2. Be a Student of Your Student

I can think of multiple times in my life when I’ve been in an emotional stand off with someone over something they did or said—or maybe something they didn’t say or didn’t do. Taking the first steps towards getting back on good terms is simple enough—in theory. But saying the words “I’m sorry” often feels like it costs too much. So, too often we choose silence in the hopes that time will fix it, instead of intentional reconciliation.

 

Unfortunately, not apologizing can be costly—maybe even especially to the relationship with our teenagers. Maybe sometimes you don’t want to apologize because you know that they are the one who did something wrong. Maybe in reaction to something your son did, you lashed out and said something that was a little harsh—but you excused it because his behavior was completely unacceptable. Or maybe you found yourself sneaking through bedroom drawers just to squelch some rising suspicions and it really broke your daughter’s trust—but you were justified in what you did, so an apology seems unnecessary. You didn’t do anything outside of your parental rights, per se, but your son or daughter feels hurt, betrayed or angry.

 

Saying I’m sorry can be so hard. Admitting you’re wrong, or that you even had a small part in an argument or bad situation, can physically hurt sometimes. It doesn’t sit well. On the other hand, when someone has apologized to you, or you have made the first step towards reconciliation, something distinct and compelling happens. There is a sense of relief, of vulnerability and calm. All from simply saying—or hearing—“I’m sorry.”

 

What is it about an apology that can be so powerful—both for the receiver of the apology and the one actually apologizing?

 

To understand this a bit more, we want to share some excerpts from an article entitled “The Power of Apology: How to give and receive an apology. And it’s worth it, on both ends” by Beverly Engel featured in Psychology Today in June 2013, and taken from the book The Power of Apology by Beverly Engel: (To read the full article, go to http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200208/the-power-apology.)

 

As you read, try to focus on the bolded words—on what giving an apology does—and try to imagine these action words taking place in the context of your relationship with your son or daughter:

 

“Apology has the ability to disarm others of their anger and to prevent further misunderstandings. While an apology cannot undo harmful past actions, if done sincerely and effectively, it can undo the negative effects of those actions … Apologizing helps us remain emotionally connected to our friends and loved ones.…

 

So, the next time you find yourself in a stand off with your spouse, a co-worker a friend or even your son or daughter, remember that more is on the line than just your pride and sense of justice. The future relationship, the ability to stay connected to and vulnerable with that person is on the line too. The words “I’m sorry” may be hard to say, but they are always worth the effort!

 

3. Action Point

The action point for this series is pretty straightforward: Apologize to your student.

 

But sometimes this is easier said than done. So what are some characteristics of a meaningful apology?

 

First of all, admit that you are truly sorry for the hurt or damage you caused. It’s easy with our students to unintentionally do or say something that they take personally. And even though we don’t always mean things the way they hear or experience them, the hurt that can be caused is still real to them. So, while you may not have meant to be hurtful, recognizing that someone else was hurt by your actions is incredibly important.

Secondly, a sincere and powerful apology includes an acceptance of responsibility. This may seem like the same thing as admitting you are sorry for the hurt you caused. But it actually takes this idea of admittance one step further. When you accept responsibility, you are not making excuses for what you did, which often has the effect of negating the apology. It’s like when your student says, “I’m really sorry that I dented the car, but the other driver was way too close to me and I couldn’t see them well out of my side mirror.” Too many excuses cloud a good apology with a message of “It really wasn’t my fault.” For an apology to be meaningful and sincere, you have to communicate that you take full responsibility for your actions.

And lastly, there should always be something in your apology that shows you have a desire to remedy the situation. You obviously can’t go back and undo what was done—or not done—but you can offer a plan to make sure it doesn’t happen again. So, if you’ve missed your son’s basketball game … again … and he is really hurt and angry, make a plan and offer a promise to get to one of his upcoming games. And then do it! An empty promise will only make the hurt deeper, so don’t promise what you can’t deliver. But be sure to offer some sort of a plan of action so that your son or daughter knows that you will work towards not repeating the action that hurt them in the first place.

Take some time to think through what a meaningful apology might look like for your son or daughter. And then, go say the words that make all the difference in the world—I’m sorry.

 

Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org.

 

 

Colorado Mission Trip Pics, June 2013
   

         Garden of the Gods                  Orchard Mission Work          Praying Hands Ranch                      

 


Meet our Youth Staff

 

 

                                  

Pastor Jean                                     Donna Wieneke            Emily  Doran                      Dave Stewart                         Lisa Kelly                                              

 

 

Forms:

Each youth must have a Health and Medical Consent Form on file with the youth pastor.  This form must be updated annually to insure the safety of each youth.  Thank you! 

Please click on the appropriate form below. Forms can be brought in to church or emailed to Pastor Jean Schafer. 

2013-14 Youth Schedule

Health and Medical Consent Form

Confirmation -new class in 2014-15

 

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